Every relationship is bound to face some type of conflict before too long and it can cause stress on each individual as well as on the relationship as a whole. While some conflicts are easy to resolve, others can fester for an extended period of time before a solution is found.
It is also common for couples to suppress their emotions about the conflict hoping to progress despite the internal feelings. This is not a healthy, sustainable strategy for a romantic relationship. Instead, it is important to work towards an effective solution that each partner is comfortable with.
It is important to know how to navigate conflict in order to find a healthy way to resolve the issue. Otherwise, it could take a toll on your well-being and on the relationship. There are some things to keep in mind to learn how to better address conflict in your romantic relationships.
Good communication skills are important for healthy, successful relationships. In fact, this is one of the aspects that couples’ therapists often start with and focus on. If you are interested in improving your communication skills in your relationship, you may want to consider checking out BetterHelp and the resources and counseling that they offer.
There are a lot of different aspects of healthy communication. One that some couples have difficulty with is communicating assertively. This means that you let your partner know your feelings and needs. In addition, you need to communicate these things in a way that gives you agency without being aggressive.
You should also strive to use active listening skills. It is important to feel heard, especially in healthy romantic relationships. If you make it seem like you do not care or understand what your partner is talking to you about, then you may want to learn how to let them know you hear them and care for them.
Active listening involves more than merely hearing. It is listening while simultaneously while thinking about a thoughtful response. Instead of thinking on the ways that you believe your partner is wrong, you may want to try to look at the situation from their perspective. Empathy can go a long way towards resolving conflict in a relationship.
Another aspect of communication is knowing when to apologize. While sometimes it can take some time to gain new perspectives that allow you to see that you were in the wrong, when this does occur, it is best to speak up. You never want your partner to hold resentment towards you because you never told them that you were sorry.
Romantic relationships are also built around healthy compromise. Even if you cannot find a comfortable middle ground, it is okay to compromise or even to agree to disagree on certain issues. However, it is important to note that this can still harm a relationship depending on the subject of the conflict and its ability to alter lives and feelings.
Finally, one strategy that often helps couples is the use of “I” statements instead of “you” statements. This means that you communicate things in the ways that they impact you instead of making it sound like the other person did something wrong or hurtful.
Find a Solution
While it is not always possible to find a solution, it is important to locate one if it exists. The solution may not be the exact thing that you wanted but could be something that you can live with or agree upon. Sometimes conflict arises from a misunderstanding and a simple change in perspective or thoughtful conversation can ease the conflict into agreement or compromise.
There are some conflicts that are more difficult to find a solution for. If it about something that you are unlikely to agree about, then you may have to put more effort towards a resolution or at least an adequate solution.
Communication may be part of this as well. You will want to find a way to resolve the conflict without harming the relationship. The solution needs to be something that you are both comfortable with that also addresses the underlying issue.
It is important to realize that sometimes a conflict is only scratching the surface of more structural issues within a relationship. There could be issues with trust, intimacy, or ideals that cause conflicts that are easily resolved, but you will still have those lingering issues that need to be addressed as well.
Look at Yourself
Taking a good look at yourself and the reasons that you feel the way you do can be really good for finding a resolution. While you probably know how you feel, whether it is angry, shameful, resentful, or something else, you may not know all of the aspects of those feelings or the reasons that you feel them.
There are many instances where you may be able to find out that there are some underlying personal issues that are causes or at least contributing to the conflict in your romantic relationship. You may find that you have your own trust issues or feel like the person is not contributing to the relationship as much as you would like. You can talk to your partner about these things, but you also have to understand that they may start within you.
A good way to look inside yourself for these types of things is to start a journal. Writing down your own experiences, thoughts, and feelings can help you gain perspective. This can also help you know how to communicate your feelings so that your partner understands.
Know When to Move On
While ending a romantic relationship can be painful and may not even be in your best immediate interests, sometimes it is important to move on before the conflict worsens. If there is always underlying conflict between you and your partner, staying in the relationship too long can worsen it and lead to more heartache.
No relationship is without conflict, which is why it is so important to know how to navigate conflict when it inevitably arises. Resolving conflict and finding a solution that works for both of you can be beneficial to the relationship and progress a couple towards growth and happiness.
Marie Miguel Biography
Marie Miguel has been a writing and research expert for nearly a decade, covering a variety of health- related topics. Currently, she is contributing to the expansion and growth of a free online mental health resource with BetterHelp.com. With an interest and dedication to addressing stigmas associated with mental health, she continues to specifically target subjects related to anxiety and depression.
Photo by humberto chavez on Unsplash