Everyone gets angry sometimes, but it is never good to hold that anger inside. Holding a grudge can actually be bad for your health and well-being. While you may know that you are holding anger or resentment inside, but sometimes people can hold a grudge without even realizing it.
Sometimes it can be difficult to forgive and forget. However, the negative effects on well-being can also worsen if you have anxiety, poor coping skills, low self-esteem, or a short temper. If this is the case, then you may also want to find a therapist at BetterHelp.
Some people are more likely to hold onto a grudge for prolonged period of time. This can impact relationships and livelihood. Holding the anger inside may even allow it to grow and the resentment to strengthen.
Sometimes grudges are caused by a small, seemingly insignificant event or situation. If this is the case, then there are often other feelings or resentment, and that small situation was just the event that put the anger over the top. Other times, a grudge is held because of a substantial event that altered a person’s life in a negative way.
Regardless of whether it is a short or long-term grudge, the impact could be harmful to your health. It is best to let go of a grudge, but that is not always easy to do.
Effects of Holding a Grudge
Holding a grudge means that your emotions regarding that person are stuck in the past. Additionally, holding the grudge is not harming them at all, but it could harm you. It can make it harder to address the issue between you and someone else and is unlikely to present a solution to the underlying issue.
Holding a grudge does not make you get over it and instead can actually cause the anger to worsen. Anger is not a pleasant emotion and keeping it in will make it increase within you. This can start a loop of negative emotions without a clear end in sight. This can encourage a negative perspective that can harm your happiness and well-being.
Holding a grudge may also cause you to relieve that negative situation or related emotions over and over again. This only makes you feel more anger and does not put the event in the past where it is in actuality. You may even exaggerate the situation or experience, which can make the event more painful than it was initially.
In addition, a grudge may contribute to feelings of stress and anxiety or even depression. The anger and resentment held inside can add worry, negativity, and irritability to your mood.
Holding a grudge can also impact your physical health. The stress of keeping the anger inside can harm your heart health and other aspects of your body. It can also contribute to insomnia and weaken the immune system. Other physical symptoms of holding a grudge include headaches, upset stomach, and poor digestion.
Furthermore, holding the anger inside can harm your relationships with other people. This is not only true about the person that you hold the grudge against. It may also cause distance between shared friends or family. In addition, if someone knows that you have held a grudge for a long time, they may be less likely to be comfortable around you or becoming your friend.
Letting Go of Anger
Some people are more likely to hold grudges than others, but it can negatively impact your well-being either way. Instead of holding the anger inside, it is better to cope in a healthy way. This could mean addressing the issue that caused the grudge or just forgiving and forgetting.
However, it is not always very easy to do this. There are some things that you can keep in mind that could potentially make it easier to release that anger and grudge that you have been holding.
The first thing you will have to do is to acknowledge the grudge. If you don’t allow yourself to see that the grudge exists, then it will be difficult, or even impossible, to release it. When you allow yourself to see it, then you can move forward in a healthy way.
Communication is crucial to letting go of the anger inside of you. It is common for someone to hold a grudge when there are unaddressed issues between two people. It can be helpful to communicate your feelings to the other person if you can do it honestly. You can also communicate with other people that you do not have a grudge against. They may be able to offer advice and guidance.
Empathy is important to gaining insight into the anger. Try to see things from their point of view. They may have a perspective that is much different than you own and seeing that could help you learn to understand why they do the things that they do.
Try to avoid dwelling on the grudge. Instead of focusing on the past, try to look forward to the future. If we dwell on the even, situation, or past mistakes, then we are unlikely to progress and grow, which makes it more difficult to release those feelings of anger and resentment. Even when talking with someone else, if the past gets brought up, you can try to move the conversation towards the future.
The most important thing is to try to remain positive. While this can be hard, it can improve your ability to let go of anger and see the good in every situation. You may even want to try coping techniques like mindfulness meditation to help encourage an optimistic outlook.
Some people find that writing their feelings down can help them to gain perspective and insight into the situation to form more objective points of views. This may promote better empathy and allow you to see how much the anger is impacting you when you keep in inside.
Finally, you may just have to choose to forgive. This does not necessarily mean that you forget the past or the things that occurred, but it just means that you acknowledge the fact that everyone makes mistakes and that it is time to move on. While it is not easy and make some time to works towards forgiveness, your body and mind may thank you.
Holding a grudge is sometimes the easiest thing to do, but it can also negatively impact your well-being. Instead, it is better to release the built-up anger inside of you. Doing this may require communication, mindfulness, and awareness of the other person’s perspective. You may even have to take a leap towards acceptance and forgiveness. While this can take a lot of time, it is a good idea to work towards the future instead of remaining in the past.
Marie Miguel Biography
Marie Miguel has been a writing and research expert for nearly a decade, covering a variety of health- related topics. Currently, she is contributing to the expansion and growth of a free online mental health resource with BetterHelp.com. With an interest and dedication to addressing stigmas associated with mental health, she continues to specifically target subjects related to anxiety and depression.
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash